Mainframe quotes and humor .

[Anuj Dhawan]

It's been a while, I've been working with Mainframes and had been associated with them professionally. Do you think there is a lighter, more humorous side of it can exist also? I think, yes - it exist already.

Said that, in this thread you can write your own quote about mainframes, share something you've heard or something which is related to mainframes in a humors manner !

[Anuj Dhawan]

Here is the first one...

A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS". "G.O.O.D" answered his wife.

[Angel]

I really liked this one:

"WARNING: Keyboard Not Found. Press F1 to Continue."

[Amy Dogar]

What does MVS stand for?

More Volume Sales
Man vs. System
Many VSE Systems
Moves Very Slowly

[Anuj Dhawan]

Read it somewhere:

What would you have if Computer Associates and Candle Incorporated merged then their stock split?
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A CA/CI split!

[Jaspal Arora]

Hi

Can we add computer quotes rather than mainframes quotes?

[Anuj Dhawan]

Hi Jaspal,

Let's keep it to Mainframes only - it will be more interesting to observe that what people have in store for mainframe, specially those who have been working with mainframes for so long.

[Amy Dogar]

"WARNING: Keyboard Not Found. Press F1 to Continue."

[Angel]

What does TSO stand for?

Take System Over
Terrible System Overhead
Time Sucking Option

[Anjali Chopra]

Question: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Answer: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

[VijayMatutiDeshekar]

Question: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Answer: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

Amazing but so true!  :shock:  :D

[VijayMatutiDeshekar]

Future.jpg

[Anuj Dhawan]

LOL - that's a good one!

[mickeydusaor]

 :D

I really liked this one:

"WARNING: Keyboard Not Found. Press F1 to Continue."

[BobThomas]

A systems programmer was at lunch with some Data Processing auditors. The waitress asks the system programmer what he wants for lunch and he says "Pork chops". She says "What about the vegetables?". The system programmer says "Oh they can order for themselves".

[LearnMainframe]

Today, your cell phone has more computer power than all of NASA back in 1969, when it placed two astronauts on the moon. Video games, which consume enormous amounts of computer power to simulate 3-D situations, use more computer power than mainframe computers of the previous decade. The Sony PlayStation of today, which costs $300, has the power of a military supercomputer of 1997, which cost millions of dollars.

- Michio Kaku

[pinball]

If you can pick it up, it's a PC.
If you can't pick it up but you can push it over, it's a minicomputer.
But when you can't pick it up or knock it over, it's a mainframe.

[Kanika]

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
– Wernher von Braun

[Router]

Read it somewhere:

What would you have if Computer Associates and Candle Incorporated merged then their stock split?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A CA/CI split!

This is hilarious!

[Pradeep Singh]

I also have one to share...

MVS - Man VS System